they look the same, feel the same
i saw them at the store today
they drank the exact same things
wear the exact same clothes

and they talk
about the things
about the people
about the clothes
about the drinks 
about the men

they had the same hair
the same bullies 
the same scars

flying never feels so exclusive
same town
same things


Animal Yoga

My lower back is aching worst than ever. Prescribed painkillers does not help. I should make time for yoga. The doctor specifically said to practice the cats and dogs position. Well, I want it to rain heavily instead.

The need to please

It is almost like an obsession. To slowly change yourself to an idea. Something that symbolizes what is yearned or fought for. The desire to be loved and wanted. Is it worth it?

Is it worthy to become you. Because all you do is yourself. All you seek is only in your eyes. How shameful to not love anything else.

Sliver underneath. Could you handle it? Burn the iron and stick it in. No tears, no screams. You're stronger than this.

in january i died

met you too early, met you too late
maybe we should have dealt with our issues separately
you shouldn't have call
i shouldn't have rested my head on you
we chased the idea
and time consumes
we were tired with a heavy heart

matters have stumbled
and we fell

i know you want me around
where do you want to put me?


small intricate things

the beautiful walks we took. the kisses we've shared.
the birthmarks i've pecked. the lips you've traced.

i dreamed of what i've lost and could never hold
you flew and wandered off

it was lovely and then things change
you stopped noticing things
and i am all about small intricate things

you wish for better
i never did
because you were good
and enough

the sheets we've stained. the legs i've stretched.

i miss your eyes your smiles your curly hair

you flew and wandered off
i've lost and could never hold



A friend of mine told me that if you can come up with 10 things you want from your future spouse, you should write it down on paper, and in three months you will find him.

I find this ridiculously hopeful.

Writing them done and waiting for three months is easy but listing ten things you truly want from someone will take me years.


Baked Dreams

Brownies in the oven.
Charlie Fink's singing in the background.
Fan spinning.
I'm all packed for another journey.